Her Pretend Billionaire Boyfriend
Her Billionaire Romance, #1
This was the book that started it all, and when I started this writing thing, I'd read my reviews. (I don't much anymore because it can mess with my head.)
Some of the reviews would talk about how Bella was a pushover and that they'd never let anyone treat them the way her best friend, Laura, treated her.
"I was just so hungry for friendship that I was willing to accept whatever scraps someone was willing to give me.” She wiggled closer and tucked her hands under her chin. “I’m not willing to do that anymore. Not with her. Not with anyone." --Bella
That was me. I was desperate to be loved when I was younger. I think back on all the things I did as a kid and cringe at some of it. I suspect it could be smelled a mile away, but there wasn't a single adult who recognized that because none of them ever sat me down, and said, "Hey, this isn't the way to do things."
And what you guys are reading is after my editor finished with it. Oh, was she ever furious with Laura. I remember the conversation and told her about some of my experiences. She was floored. That's the thing though, I did let people treat me any way they wanted because crummy affection was better than none at all.
I'm 49 now, and I still wait for people to throw me away. I do cut people out though. It takes a while, but I'll cut people out. A relationship of any form is messy. They take work. It's not a one-sided, 50/50 thing all the time. Sometimes it takes 100/100 or 40/60 because we're not equal in that moment, but there's love and respect there. We don't take advantage of a weakness. We love harder when it's needed knowing that we'll be loved harder when we're needing it. A relationship that is one-sided burns out.
Sometimes it's hard to let someone go, but God didn't call us to be doormats, at least I don't think so. Sometimes, letting someone go isn't for us, it's for them. And I think that's okay.
Some of the reviews would talk about how Bella was a pushover and that they'd never let anyone treat them the way her best friend, Laura, treated her.
"I was just so hungry for friendship that I was willing to accept whatever scraps someone was willing to give me.” She wiggled closer and tucked her hands under her chin. “I’m not willing to do that anymore. Not with her. Not with anyone." --Bella
That was me. I was desperate to be loved when I was younger. I think back on all the things I did as a kid and cringe at some of it. I suspect it could be smelled a mile away, but there wasn't a single adult who recognized that because none of them ever sat me down, and said, "Hey, this isn't the way to do things."
And what you guys are reading is after my editor finished with it. Oh, was she ever furious with Laura. I remember the conversation and told her about some of my experiences. She was floored. That's the thing though, I did let people treat me any way they wanted because crummy affection was better than none at all.
I'm 49 now, and I still wait for people to throw me away. I do cut people out though. It takes a while, but I'll cut people out. A relationship of any form is messy. They take work. It's not a one-sided, 50/50 thing all the time. Sometimes it takes 100/100 or 40/60 because we're not equal in that moment, but there's love and respect there. We don't take advantage of a weakness. We love harder when it's needed knowing that we'll be loved harder when we're needing it. A relationship that is one-sided burns out.
Sometimes it's hard to let someone go, but God didn't call us to be doormats, at least I don't think so. Sometimes, letting someone go isn't for us, it's for them. And I think that's okay.
